I haven't been consistent about blogging like I have wanted to be, had hoped to be. This blog is for me, an outlet. In the beginning I wanted to share about my health and wellness journey but now I think I just want to share. 
  
Seasons...
As we have entered into spring and will soon transition into summer, Seasons have been on my mind alot. I think seasons is a good way to describe points in time in our life. I think of my nursing career. For a season I was an oncology nurse then transitioned into Care Management. For a season I worked for a local hospital 7 minutes from home. Now I am in a new season and beginning my career with a new community hospital 45 minutes from home. Professionally this is a really great season.  

I think in terms of my marriage. We had our dating season, then our early marriage - pre-kids season, now we are in our child rearing season. Within this season, though we are embarking on the beginning of what I fear is going to be a very, very long sub season (is that even a word? Can I just make it up?)! We are the proud parents of 4 energetic, individual, crazy boys. Our 2 oldest are developing their interests in sports and activities. Of course my husband and I have our own activities too (I mean, we need our sanity!). So many many times the family has multiple places to be at once. This has developed into a divide and concur mentality. Depending on the event, location, amount of time etc, we divvy up the kids between us and go our separate ways. In general, it works pretty well. 

However....
  I am struggling feeling connected. There is maybe one night, two if we are lucky, that we can all be home, share a meal and spend some time together. Yet, there is always homework or something that needs discussed, handled or dealt with. Its not just about me and the hubs tho. Its feeling connected to myself, to each of my kids and my family as a whole.. and even my friends! As each of the boys get older, I know this will continue to be a bigger and bigger thing.  We don't over schedule the kids or ourselves. Maybe its selfish but I don't want my husband or I to give up those things that we love that keep us sane! So how do we handle it? What strategies have worked for those of you with more than 2 kids? How do I push down my need for quiet time at home with everyone and embrace this season? I know, I know, I know... I need to enjoy it...it goes so quick.... ! Yes, i agree, but in the moment, the here and now, it FEELS SO SLOW! Like this is how it will always be. I wanted to be a mom. I prayed for these kids. I want to embrace them, connect with them, love them and do my best to be sure they become great men of God. 

I guess no one ever said it would be easy... and I wouldn't want it to be easy....well maybe a little easier! I guess for now I will look for the small moments. The quick points in time to have a moment to connect and maybe I will slowly gain momentum in embracing this (sub) Season (And perhaps start a countdown to empty nest season? I mean we all need goals Right?) 

Thanks for listening...or reading...well you know.. Thanks!

Insights over the past few months and other random ramblings....

I do so many things out of habit. I don't even know why I do some of them because if I really stop and think about it for just a minute it really makes no sense! This journey to health and wellness has ups and downs. Some days I work really really hard, make good choices, and go to the gym. Other days I am doing good to stick to the few new habits I have made.

SODA!
Soda! This has been a crutch for me since High School. Sometimes I wish I had never even been introduced to the stuff. It full of chemical compounds that taste yummy in the moment but don't satisfy your thirst so you drink more....and more... and more. When I first started with Plexus, I cut down my soda intake but didn't stop it all together. I certainly didn't crave it like I had before plexus but I still CHOSE to have one a day, grab a 20oz on a round trip or have one with dinner out. I recently shared on facebook about how my cousin challenged me about my soda drinking. We had been at the beach all day. I had taken waters and soda. We had done some sight seeing and were headed back to our cabin when we stopped for dinner. My cousin and his sweet girlfriend both ordered water. I ordered water for the kids. I CHOSE to order a soda for myself. That's how the conversation came up. He shared that drinking water helps you enjoy the various flavors of your meal that are other wise missed due to being covered up by soda.  This gave me food for thought, it has obviously stuck with me. Why was I drinking soda? Even more silly is that I generally saved my soda drinking for when were out. I rarely had it home unless we were having a get together. One Sunday out to lunch, my husband and I reviewed our bill. We realized that our lunch bill would have been under $30 had he and I both just ordered water. As I thought more and more about it, it occurred to me that I was paying 2 or 3 dollars for soda at a restaurant but wouldn't pay 99 cents to buy the bottle at the store! What was I thinking?? I am proud to say that it was in that moment I realized I no longer need my crutch. Water is good and refreshing. Tea is alternative when I want something different. I  made the mistake of taking a big swing of soda at home one night eating pizza. It felt like corn syrup running down my throat....well... that's really what it is anyway. YUCK! Not for me any more! 4 weeks, One Month...NO SODA, not going back either. I am officially free from my soda addiction. 

Easy, Boxed Baking
OK! Here is another "habit". I would spend the 4 or 5 dollars at the store for the boxed pancake and biscuit mixes. Have you read those labels? I have really gotten more and more into reading the labels. We have a really tight grocery budget and when you need enough food for 2 weeks for 6 people sometimes things have to be left. I like biscuits with some meals and I love making pancakes for my kids on lazy mornings. I started really looking for recipes. I started experimenting with different ingredients. Flour, Baking soda, Baking Power, salt, maybe sugar, Water or milk, and sometimes eggs, with varying amounts are the main essentials to waffles, pancakes muffins and biscuits (and many other yummy things). Hmmm. I can say all those ingredients. I always have all those ingredients. Why was I spending 4 or 5 dollars for something extra that I already had on hand. I know flour isn't the greatest for you, but i have switched to unbleached flour. Gross anyway--why would we bleach our food?? I barely bleach my clothes! So a little extra effort, a little more planning for me is totally worth it. Baking from scratch makes me feel good about what I am putting on the table. 

Unwillingness to Try
I am stubborn. If you know me, you know I am stubborn. My husband has teased me over our nearly 14 years of marriage that I make up my mind about things before I really give it chance. Especially when it comes to food. When he and I first met, I always ate plain, boring things. Didn't even really add condiments to sandwiches or experiment in anyway with food. If you ask me, I have come along way. I have found several things, probably more, that I always thought I hated and it turns out I really don't.  Hummus is the first thing I discovered. I really didn't think I liked it. Its color is kinda yucky and some of the labels don't sound so appetizing to me. However, I tried it one day because a friend was raving about it. I really liked it. I find that I prefer garlic flavored. I have even been attempting to make my own. Why not? 80 cents for a can of chick peas makes a portion big enough to span several lunches and gets my kids (and me too) eating raw veggies as snacks!  The other thing is in the category of raw veggies. Tomatoes, Cabbage, and Green peppers, things I always tolerated but never thought I liked. This summer, growing my own tomatoes has changed my mind about tomatoes. YUM, Fresh from the vine for salsa, soup and just to eat! Good Stuff! Cabbage is something I started 'tolerating' because my husband wanted to make it for his Irish side of the family family reunion one year. Then he started making it at St Patrick's day. Every once and a while we would eat it with dinner. The other night i was making said dinner and had bought a HUGE head of cabbage. So I sliced it up and found a recipe for oven roasted Cabbage! OH MY HEAVENS, Straight from the oven it was like candy only healthy! Soo good and now on my grocery list each time!  At work, I have watched a few of my coworkers (okay, friends) eat RAW GREEN PEPPERS!  UGH! They always offered them to me and I would turn up my nose. They would roll their eyes at me and keep on eating. Peppers to me indicate spicy and I don't care for overly spicy things (probably all that bland eating!). Well.... last night I was making homemade pizza. I cut up the green peppers small cause that's how i like them on pizza, but ended up with more than half the pepper left. I thought for a moment, and took a leap. I took a small bite. Next thing I know, I have eaten the entire leftover half and I LIKED IT! WOW! If only I would try things more often!! What else have I been missing?!?!


Thanks to my new found taste buds, I am getting excited about re working my garden this summer. I went with safe things last summer. This summer I am going to open up my world a little more. I am so grateful for plexus slim and the way it has helped me over come addictions to foods and re-worked my body and taste buds so that I actually CRAVE good for me food. I am not perfect. I still enjoy a treat now and then. That's the point right? Health but not deprivation. Food for fuel, not for managing stress and emotions. Living life to LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE.  Loving myself more and more each day along this journey! Finding my joy and happiness in relationships with God, Friends and Family and sharing it with others. 

Welcome February, you are going to be a great month, I just know it! 

A New Year, A New Determination... A New Me!

If you follow me on facebook, you know that yesterday I spent the day surrounded by my plexus friends at Super Saturday. It is a training event sponsored by the company. It was great to meet in person so many people I 'talk to' and 'follow' through facebook. One person in particular stood out. Towards the end of the day they had everyone who had lost 50 lbs or more using plexus stand up. There were many that stood. Then 75+... a few sat. Then 100+...only 2 people in a room of 800 remained standing. They were standing together, friends on this journey together. Knowing each other's success the one lady side hugged her friend and said "Get it Girl". The other stood with emotion in her voice saying she has lost a grand total of 238 pounds using plexus products!!!! 238 pounds. The entire room broke out into applause and stood in admiration of this lady's ENORMOUS Achievement. I mean 238 pounds.. Let that sink in. Think about what that must feel like to carry around nearly 2 additional people with you all day everyday. I don't know her full story, but I know that she had to have set backs, barriers, trials just like the rest of us while on the journey..but she didn't give up. She continued and now can proudly say she has accomplished this goal. It has given me hope, that even though my progress has slowed, I shouldn't lose sight of my goal.

Mountains to Molehills
As I keep reflecting back on yesterday and the woman who I mentioned above I have come to some conclusions. In May I made the decision to start plexus, to give it a year and to do my best and see how it works for me. I was ready to be healthy, not just thinner, HEALTHIER. I think we all, whether we need to or not, want to be thinner. If I am honest about where I need to get to, I have about 90 more pounds to lose. 90 pounds doesn't seem as daunting now if face of knowing someone, a real person.. I saw her, has lost 238 pounds using plexus as her tool. I am inspired. I am determined. I am giving myself grace. Instead of turning Molehills into Mountains, I am looking at my Mountains as if they are only Molehills.

Sharing Not Selling
Plexus has so much to offer in the area of health and wellness. It took me 6 months with the company to realize how much benefit everyone, regardless of height, weight, gender or age, can benefit from these products. There are many out there who can't afford to NOT hear about and try these products. That is why I am in the "Plexus Business". I want to SHARE the products, the health improvements, the financial opportunities. I want everyone to know how good it feels to get healthy. When I first started I thought it was all about the weight loss, because that was the primary reason I even looked at the products. However, it so much more. People are getting away from antidepressants, pain medications, blood pressure medications, diabetes medications (Under their doctors supervision of course!) everyday because of how their bodies have healed on the inside using these products. Let me be clear...There are NO quick fixes to weight loss, none, zero. The weight came on slowly over time and if we lose it in a healthy sustainable manner, it comes off slowly over time. The weight loss is a by product of getting your insides healthy. If your not ready for total health and wellness, and looking for  a quick fix, you may not be ready for plexus. If your goal is to lose weight and get healthy and your willing to give it the time it needs, then you are ready for plexus. I have lost more inches than pounds.. but I am down 2 full sizes, almost 3. I am not trying to sell you on plexus, plexus works..try it, you will see, I am merely sharing with you the opportunity to try it out and get healthy and see what plexus can do for you.

I am so grateful for my friend who SHARED plexus with me. She followed God's lead into this company and I prayerfully did the same thing. I have 4 boys who need a healthy, full of energy, happy mom, they deserve that. Plexus Products have gotten their mom started towards that healthy, energetic, happy mom. I want to live the life God intended for me. My body is a temple, made in his image. It is one of the many resources he has entrusted into my care. I am working on repairing my temple with a renewed determination to emerge as a new, healthier version of ME in 2015.  Who is ready to join me?

Follow the Blue Line- A Triathlon Day Adventure!

Race Day!!!!
It was finally here. I set my alarm for 5:30 am so I could double check my bag that I had packed Friday night. My team mates are my brother in law, James, and one of my best friends, Stephanie.  I packed a smaller bag with banana's and almonds. I got my pink drink ready. Stephanie arrived just before 6 and we proceeded to pick up my brother in law. After filling up for gas, we were on our way....

Navigational Disaster
Friday night, I had asked my husband how to get to Oak Run in Dahinda near Galesburg. He had been there before and knew the way. However, I didn't write them down. I couldn't quite remember exactly what he said. The first leg of the trip I did remember. During that time, I gave the address to Stephanie to plug into her phone so we would have directions. At this point, Stephanie did say she is navigationally challenged. Yet I had the memory of my husbands directions and thought we would be okay with the phone back up. Error number 1!

So we got off on 78 and connected with 150. Now, I remember Peter saying something about going through a really small town and then I would need to turn, but I could remember what direction, and that Oak Run would be about 10-15 miles down the road. Stephanie had the directions loaded on the phone and told me when to turn, we were on 180. We were watching for our next turn, Knox road. As we came up on a left turn, I slowed but didn't see a name, and proceed but was quickly alerted by Stephanie we were "off the blue line" (incidentally this will become a phrase we hear multiple times..), so I did a country road U-turn and proceed to where the 'blue line' told us to turn. And I did! Now at this point the inner voice of my husband was saying: where was the  small town? and I was fairly certain he had only mentioned 2 turns. I made the turn and was immediately in doubt. It was a Narrow rocky road and we proceeded on. We got to the top of a hill and on the other side was a steep decent on rocky dirt. I was very skeptical at this point that the 'blue line' was providing appropriate directions. We made it down the hill after briefly considering that we could potentially die and no one would know how to find us!!! Soon the rocks started to disappear and it was just dirt.  We passed a large limb that had fallen and was pulled over to the side, then looking ahead I notice the dirt becomes mud. James reassured me the truck was four wheel drive and said stay to the left. Made it through that mud, then another mud spot came upon us that was more of a puddle than I realized and as I proceed through, mud splashed up and all over my truck. Now, registration opened at 7 and it was nearing 7 enough that if we were on the right roads, we would have seen others...we did not. Finally the road become rock again, then a small stretch of asphalt, then rock again. we came to a T and made the turn hoping the blue line would say were going the right direction. We shortly came to a fork in the road and I was certain that based on the condition of the 2 options we should probably stay to the left. Except the phone shortly told us that we were once again "off the blue line", so I did another U-turn and went down the embankment to the dirt road...it was a tight turn. So we proceeded down the dirt road again, pondering that if something happened to the car, no one would find us!  There were deer jumping across the road, more mud puddles and I was starting to fear we would never find Oak Run and we would miss the triathlon. Alas, we finally had more rocks and the road became paved and eventually we found ourselves at one of the entrances to Oak Run!  phew! Stephanie was promptly demoted from her navigational duties!

Triathlon Time
 Now luckily, I had utilized my inner bird side (my mom's side is always timely and well planned) and we had left with enough time to endure the above adventure that took us about 20ish miles out of our way. We checked in, got our bodies marked with our bib number and then we set up our spot in the transition center.

I think we all were starting to get nervous and doubt our own sanity at this point. They opened the water for warm ups and I decided I would wait until it was time to swim to get in the water.

So it was finally 9 am and I had to get ready for my wave. Relay members were in the last wave regardless of age group, so my cap wasn't purple after all.  It was finally my turn to go. I hung back a bit to let the crowd thin. Ran through the water and finally dove in and started to swim. The cold hit me and took my breath away. I pushed forward. I was doing the breast stroke but couldn't get my legs, arms and breathing into a good rhythm until after I passed the first orange buoy. I was doing okay and kept pushing. There was a couple to my left and no matter how hard I pushed I couldn't get passed them and we kept hitting each other. Swimming in the lake was definitely different than the pool, which I expected and had been warned about. Then someone was trying to get around me after I passed the second buoy. But she got just far enough that with each stroke she was shoving water right in my face. I was close to being done so I just kept pushing. Finally, I could put my feet down and ran in the rest of the way, up the hill and into transition. My body ached, my lungs couldn't catch up with my need for air but I was done. I passed the timing chip off to James. Stephanie helped me get control of my breathing and I sat in the grass and waited. I looked at the time and did a quick guestimate of my time and figured I was right around 9 minutes. James came in and then Stephanie was off. When we saw Stephanie coming down the hill to the finish it was a moment of relief. We had done it. We survived it. We are Triathletes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Working towards a Goal

Get up and Go!

For the past 13 days I have gotten up every morning at 5 am, put on my swimsuit and headed to my local gym where I swim laps. When I started swimming, I did the math via a calculator on the internet to determine how many laps I need to complete the distance. The sprint triathlon distance is 300 yards for the one we are doing. My gym pool is 25 feet from one end to the other, at least that is what I thought.  So I set out to complete 18 laps, down and back 18 times. 3 Days in it was still taking me close to 20 minutes to finish. I was feeling defeated and like I would never be able to be successful at the Tri. That third day, I signed up for more laps and made an interesting discovery. The length of the pool is 50 feet not 25 feet. I only needed to do 9 laps, not 18!!! What a relief!

I found myself researching things on the internet. You Tube has multiple instructional videos for the different strokes, skills to practice, and ways to improve your stroke. I have been pushing myself to swim freestyle but am much more comfortable doing the breast stroke. With each trip to the gym, I have made improvements in how I swim, how fast I swim and how I breathe. I haven't allowed myself to make excuses. I have taken 3 days off to rest, including tomorrow.

Making this a habit.

After I finished my final push today, I stopped at the desk. I pulled out the swim lane book and signed up for next week. I have enjoyed (no seriously...enjoyed) getting up earlier. I have some time to myself in the car to the gym, in the pool and  the car ride home. I am able to start my morning without rush and therefore able to start my kids and husband's morning with out rush. I go into work feeling better about myself because I know I have done something for myself by exercising that morning. The Tri is Saturday, but i am going to keep swimming. I am doing this for me!

Ready or Not Tri I come....

I am so excited to do this Tri. I am only doing the swim and have managed to drag along my brother in law and dear friend to be my teammates. I know they think I am crazy, but they must be a little crazy too because they agreed to do it with me. I have looked at pictures, read through the information and been to the pool. I am as ready as I can get. I think i have been successful in staying with the swimming every day because I am working towards a goal. I have come to realize this is who I am... I am someone who is driven by goals. I don't find it fun or rewarding to run just to run or swim just to swim. Yes, I know the exercise is good for me but I think I work harder and go farther if I am working towards a goal.

So the question is....what is the next goal?????

Catch up and Update!

Wowzers!! Summer has Flown By!  What I had intended to be a weekly or biweekly post has now gone months with no update. So let's catch up!!

Running:
So If you remember, I had promised my oldest we would run a race. The color run came to Peoria in June or was it July... this summer anyway. It is a 5K. I was not as diligent about running and practicing as I wanted to be prior to the race. Since I had signed up for it, we were doing it even if meant we were walking most of it. My brother in law and sister in law also decided to join us.

If you have never done a color run, I highly suggest it, especially with friends. You get packets of color in your race packet. At various points they 'spray' color on you. Then at the finish line there is a dance party where everyone throws the color at each other. We had such a good time. Trey left me behind shortly after starting the race and ran ahead. I ended up running more of it than I thought I would because I was worried about him being ahead of me. I was so proud of myself. I felt great crossing the finish, completing

a goal and fulfilling a promise to my son. Notice that after the race I have a purple tutu. I tried to get others to have tutus but no one wanted to do it with me. So after the race they were giving away things and Trey decided he wanted to win me a tutu..so he did!  I didn't really get a ton of color until the dance party. We want to do it again and we are thinking about doing the neon version where it's at night!


Plexus:
  I am still taking plexus products. I love my pink drink. I have it every morning before I eat. I recently added the multivitamin, xfactor. I think that this vitamin helps me have improved energy through out the day. I also added pro bio 5, the probiotic over the summer. This has improved my sleep and also impacted my energy. I am feeling more and more like the pre-kid Brandie. I enjoy life more. I can laugh more. I can smile more. I can handle my stress a lot better. I am not where I want to be yet but I am so much closer than I have ever been before. I can't wait to see what another 4 months brings!

This is my 2 month update I did in July! I plan to do another update on my birthday at the end of the month. The scale says I am down 10 lbs but my clothes say I am down 3 pant sizes!!  3 Pant Sizes!!!!  The fit of my clothes is more important to me than the pounds anyway!!!


New Goals:
So I have had this wild and crazy idea for a while. Only a few of my closest friends and a few family members knew of my secret goal until recently. I am intrigued by the sprint Triathlon. I decided a few years back that I would do a sprint triathlon because they can be done as a relay team. I would start practicing and eventually give up. Since starting plexus, and working on my health and wellness, I returned to swimming. I love the water. I love to swim. Well, I managed to get my brother in law and one of my best friends to catch my crazy vision. They agreed to join me and we became a team. Now, we all intended to practice and train for this triathlon but much like my blog, summer got away from us. However, We did register. We are going to do this. We are going to cross the finish line!  I have been swimming every morning before work (read up at 5 am swimming in a cold lap pool at the gym while everyone else is warm and cozy in their beds). I am actually starting to enjoy being up early, wait..did I just say that, yes enjoy being up early. I get a few things done after I get home, shower, get ready, wake up kids, put out their clothes and get to work a little early to get a few things done before anyone knows I am there.

Taking care of me one day and one pink drink at a time. Stay tuned. I promise to write more.

Sometimes the answer is no....

I am on a journey towards health and happiness. Along the journey you have to deal with things that may be inhibiting your wellness from a mental perspective. So I am going to share my thoughts on something that I have dealt with well but every once in awhile it creeps back up.

My fabulous family
I have been married for 13 years. Almost 10 years ago, we were blessed with our first child, a son.  A few years later we were blessed with baby number 2, another boy. 18 months later  our 3rd blessing and again a boy. At this point we thought we were done. 3 boys are loud and rowdy, they make messes and break things. However, after much debate and mind changing ( and lack of permanent measures) we were faced with the news we were expecting again. You already know the end to the story, another boy joined our life.

My heart on the matter
With every pregnancy I wished, hoped and prayed for a girl. As a woman, I wanted to know that mother-daughter bond. When my first was a boy, I handled it well because I knew we would have more. In betwen #1 &  #2 boys, I had an early miscarriage. I was in the midst of finishing nursing school and about the time I had adjusted to the idea of being pregnant I lost the baby. With #2 boy i was upset. I had difficulty knowing he was a boy when i really wanted a girl.  Finding out that #3 was a boy again was really, really hard. I was so disappointed. I know there are women out there who would be happy to have one baby so it's hard for me to admit but I was downright angry about the gender at times.  During the time between #3 & #4, I poured out my heart to God. I prayed continually about His plan for our family. I gave up control and surrendered my heart and mind to His plan for our children, the number of them, their gender and my husband and I determined that we were done having kids. However, we were both slightly unsettled with that and continued to discuss the possibility of #4. When we found out we were expecting, my husband and I had multiple discussions about how I was going to handle finding out the gender. I continued to plea with God for my desires but continued to acknowledge His plan may be greater than my own. I still hoped for a girl but in the back of my mind he was a boy until proven otherwise. When we had proven evidence that #4 was a boy, I really just embraced it. I knew this was our last baby and I wanted to enjoy it as much as possible.

The ongoing struggle
My dream, my ideal would have been 2 boys and 2 girls. God's plan for me and my husband was a house full of boys. They are all special, unique, individuals who are deeply loved by both of their parents. We will never know the dynamic of having a girl. I have 4 versions of various traits of my husband and I in boy form but will never know what our combination would have looked like in girl form. I am happy with my boys and have come to terms with the fact that the answer to my prayer is no. The miscarriage plays a role sometimes because i find myself wondering if that baby in heaven is a girl and why couldn't she stay?  More days then not I focus on the blessing of having 4 healthy, beautiful, fun boys.

People's reactions
As we walk through stores and restaurants, I notice the look on people's faces. Most of them are sympathetic and smile politely as we pass. Some people exclaim, '4 boys!' I have heard countless time, 'you have your hands full'.  There is one comment though that hurts more than others, that brings all those feelings right back to the front. That one comment is,'you are young, try again' or it closely related cousin 'It's not too late to try 1 more time'.  I always laugh it off and share that 4 boys is Gods plan for us and it is ok. In my head, though, i begin arguing with God about his design, questioning why I wasnt worthy enough to have a daughter for my husband and a sister for my boys. We are a single gender family and I remain the sole princess and it is ok!!

Blessed
Every once in a while, a couple who are past their child rearing years, will stop at our table look at them all endearingly and share how blessed we are. They take a moment to praise us for their behavior, even when we feel like they are acting up. They share moments and experiences from raising their own children. Those encounters make me feel blessed, happy, and fulfilled as a mom. Thank you for those moments!!


To my fellow moms of all boys: you are richly blessed
To my mom of all girls friends: you are richly blessed
To my mom friends who have a combo of boys and girls: you are richly blessed

God made us to be the perfect parent for our children and the perfect design for each of our families. As for me, I embrace it. I pray for their future wives, and my relationship with my daughter-in-laws to be.  It's a big job to raise boys to become men that a dad someday will give their daughter to!