Follow the Blue Line- A Triathlon Day Adventure!

Race Day!!!!
It was finally here. I set my alarm for 5:30 am so I could double check my bag that I had packed Friday night. My team mates are my brother in law, James, and one of my best friends, Stephanie.  I packed a smaller bag with banana's and almonds. I got my pink drink ready. Stephanie arrived just before 6 and we proceeded to pick up my brother in law. After filling up for gas, we were on our way....

Navigational Disaster
Friday night, I had asked my husband how to get to Oak Run in Dahinda near Galesburg. He had been there before and knew the way. However, I didn't write them down. I couldn't quite remember exactly what he said. The first leg of the trip I did remember. During that time, I gave the address to Stephanie to plug into her phone so we would have directions. At this point, Stephanie did say she is navigationally challenged. Yet I had the memory of my husbands directions and thought we would be okay with the phone back up. Error number 1!

So we got off on 78 and connected with 150. Now, I remember Peter saying something about going through a really small town and then I would need to turn, but I could remember what direction, and that Oak Run would be about 10-15 miles down the road. Stephanie had the directions loaded on the phone and told me when to turn, we were on 180. We were watching for our next turn, Knox road. As we came up on a left turn, I slowed but didn't see a name, and proceed but was quickly alerted by Stephanie we were "off the blue line" (incidentally this will become a phrase we hear multiple times..), so I did a country road U-turn and proceed to where the 'blue line' told us to turn. And I did! Now at this point the inner voice of my husband was saying: where was the  small town? and I was fairly certain he had only mentioned 2 turns. I made the turn and was immediately in doubt. It was a Narrow rocky road and we proceeded on. We got to the top of a hill and on the other side was a steep decent on rocky dirt. I was very skeptical at this point that the 'blue line' was providing appropriate directions. We made it down the hill after briefly considering that we could potentially die and no one would know how to find us!!! Soon the rocks started to disappear and it was just dirt.  We passed a large limb that had fallen and was pulled over to the side, then looking ahead I notice the dirt becomes mud. James reassured me the truck was four wheel drive and said stay to the left. Made it through that mud, then another mud spot came upon us that was more of a puddle than I realized and as I proceed through, mud splashed up and all over my truck. Now, registration opened at 7 and it was nearing 7 enough that if we were on the right roads, we would have seen others...we did not. Finally the road become rock again, then a small stretch of asphalt, then rock again. we came to a T and made the turn hoping the blue line would say were going the right direction. We shortly came to a fork in the road and I was certain that based on the condition of the 2 options we should probably stay to the left. Except the phone shortly told us that we were once again "off the blue line", so I did another U-turn and went down the embankment to the dirt road...it was a tight turn. So we proceeded down the dirt road again, pondering that if something happened to the car, no one would find us!  There were deer jumping across the road, more mud puddles and I was starting to fear we would never find Oak Run and we would miss the triathlon. Alas, we finally had more rocks and the road became paved and eventually we found ourselves at one of the entrances to Oak Run!  phew! Stephanie was promptly demoted from her navigational duties!

Triathlon Time
 Now luckily, I had utilized my inner bird side (my mom's side is always timely and well planned) and we had left with enough time to endure the above adventure that took us about 20ish miles out of our way. We checked in, got our bodies marked with our bib number and then we set up our spot in the transition center.

I think we all were starting to get nervous and doubt our own sanity at this point. They opened the water for warm ups and I decided I would wait until it was time to swim to get in the water.

So it was finally 9 am and I had to get ready for my wave. Relay members were in the last wave regardless of age group, so my cap wasn't purple after all.  It was finally my turn to go. I hung back a bit to let the crowd thin. Ran through the water and finally dove in and started to swim. The cold hit me and took my breath away. I pushed forward. I was doing the breast stroke but couldn't get my legs, arms and breathing into a good rhythm until after I passed the first orange buoy. I was doing okay and kept pushing. There was a couple to my left and no matter how hard I pushed I couldn't get passed them and we kept hitting each other. Swimming in the lake was definitely different than the pool, which I expected and had been warned about. Then someone was trying to get around me after I passed the second buoy. But she got just far enough that with each stroke she was shoving water right in my face. I was close to being done so I just kept pushing. Finally, I could put my feet down and ran in the rest of the way, up the hill and into transition. My body ached, my lungs couldn't catch up with my need for air but I was done. I passed the timing chip off to James. Stephanie helped me get control of my breathing and I sat in the grass and waited. I looked at the time and did a quick guestimate of my time and figured I was right around 9 minutes. James came in and then Stephanie was off. When we saw Stephanie coming down the hill to the finish it was a moment of relief. We had done it. We survived it. We are Triathletes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Working towards a Goal

Get up and Go!

For the past 13 days I have gotten up every morning at 5 am, put on my swimsuit and headed to my local gym where I swim laps. When I started swimming, I did the math via a calculator on the internet to determine how many laps I need to complete the distance. The sprint triathlon distance is 300 yards for the one we are doing. My gym pool is 25 feet from one end to the other, at least that is what I thought.  So I set out to complete 18 laps, down and back 18 times. 3 Days in it was still taking me close to 20 minutes to finish. I was feeling defeated and like I would never be able to be successful at the Tri. That third day, I signed up for more laps and made an interesting discovery. The length of the pool is 50 feet not 25 feet. I only needed to do 9 laps, not 18!!! What a relief!

I found myself researching things on the internet. You Tube has multiple instructional videos for the different strokes, skills to practice, and ways to improve your stroke. I have been pushing myself to swim freestyle but am much more comfortable doing the breast stroke. With each trip to the gym, I have made improvements in how I swim, how fast I swim and how I breathe. I haven't allowed myself to make excuses. I have taken 3 days off to rest, including tomorrow.

Making this a habit.

After I finished my final push today, I stopped at the desk. I pulled out the swim lane book and signed up for next week. I have enjoyed (no seriously...enjoyed) getting up earlier. I have some time to myself in the car to the gym, in the pool and  the car ride home. I am able to start my morning without rush and therefore able to start my kids and husband's morning with out rush. I go into work feeling better about myself because I know I have done something for myself by exercising that morning. The Tri is Saturday, but i am going to keep swimming. I am doing this for me!

Ready or Not Tri I come....

I am so excited to do this Tri. I am only doing the swim and have managed to drag along my brother in law and dear friend to be my teammates. I know they think I am crazy, but they must be a little crazy too because they agreed to do it with me. I have looked at pictures, read through the information and been to the pool. I am as ready as I can get. I think i have been successful in staying with the swimming every day because I am working towards a goal. I have come to realize this is who I am... I am someone who is driven by goals. I don't find it fun or rewarding to run just to run or swim just to swim. Yes, I know the exercise is good for me but I think I work harder and go farther if I am working towards a goal.

So the question is....what is the next goal?????

Catch up and Update!

Wowzers!! Summer has Flown By!  What I had intended to be a weekly or biweekly post has now gone months with no update. So let's catch up!!

Running:
So If you remember, I had promised my oldest we would run a race. The color run came to Peoria in June or was it July... this summer anyway. It is a 5K. I was not as diligent about running and practicing as I wanted to be prior to the race. Since I had signed up for it, we were doing it even if meant we were walking most of it. My brother in law and sister in law also decided to join us.

If you have never done a color run, I highly suggest it, especially with friends. You get packets of color in your race packet. At various points they 'spray' color on you. Then at the finish line there is a dance party where everyone throws the color at each other. We had such a good time. Trey left me behind shortly after starting the race and ran ahead. I ended up running more of it than I thought I would because I was worried about him being ahead of me. I was so proud of myself. I felt great crossing the finish, completing

a goal and fulfilling a promise to my son. Notice that after the race I have a purple tutu. I tried to get others to have tutus but no one wanted to do it with me. So after the race they were giving away things and Trey decided he wanted to win me a tutu..so he did!  I didn't really get a ton of color until the dance party. We want to do it again and we are thinking about doing the neon version where it's at night!


Plexus:
  I am still taking plexus products. I love my pink drink. I have it every morning before I eat. I recently added the multivitamin, xfactor. I think that this vitamin helps me have improved energy through out the day. I also added pro bio 5, the probiotic over the summer. This has improved my sleep and also impacted my energy. I am feeling more and more like the pre-kid Brandie. I enjoy life more. I can laugh more. I can smile more. I can handle my stress a lot better. I am not where I want to be yet but I am so much closer than I have ever been before. I can't wait to see what another 4 months brings!

This is my 2 month update I did in July! I plan to do another update on my birthday at the end of the month. The scale says I am down 10 lbs but my clothes say I am down 3 pant sizes!!  3 Pant Sizes!!!!  The fit of my clothes is more important to me than the pounds anyway!!!


New Goals:
So I have had this wild and crazy idea for a while. Only a few of my closest friends and a few family members knew of my secret goal until recently. I am intrigued by the sprint Triathlon. I decided a few years back that I would do a sprint triathlon because they can be done as a relay team. I would start practicing and eventually give up. Since starting plexus, and working on my health and wellness, I returned to swimming. I love the water. I love to swim. Well, I managed to get my brother in law and one of my best friends to catch my crazy vision. They agreed to join me and we became a team. Now, we all intended to practice and train for this triathlon but much like my blog, summer got away from us. However, We did register. We are going to do this. We are going to cross the finish line!  I have been swimming every morning before work (read up at 5 am swimming in a cold lap pool at the gym while everyone else is warm and cozy in their beds). I am actually starting to enjoy being up early, wait..did I just say that, yes enjoy being up early. I get a few things done after I get home, shower, get ready, wake up kids, put out their clothes and get to work a little early to get a few things done before anyone knows I am there.

Taking care of me one day and one pink drink at a time. Stay tuned. I promise to write more.

Sometimes the answer is no....

I am on a journey towards health and happiness. Along the journey you have to deal with things that may be inhibiting your wellness from a mental perspective. So I am going to share my thoughts on something that I have dealt with well but every once in awhile it creeps back up.

My fabulous family
I have been married for 13 years. Almost 10 years ago, we were blessed with our first child, a son.  A few years later we were blessed with baby number 2, another boy. 18 months later  our 3rd blessing and again a boy. At this point we thought we were done. 3 boys are loud and rowdy, they make messes and break things. However, after much debate and mind changing ( and lack of permanent measures) we were faced with the news we were expecting again. You already know the end to the story, another boy joined our life.

My heart on the matter
With every pregnancy I wished, hoped and prayed for a girl. As a woman, I wanted to know that mother-daughter bond. When my first was a boy, I handled it well because I knew we would have more. In betwen #1 &  #2 boys, I had an early miscarriage. I was in the midst of finishing nursing school and about the time I had adjusted to the idea of being pregnant I lost the baby. With #2 boy i was upset. I had difficulty knowing he was a boy when i really wanted a girl.  Finding out that #3 was a boy again was really, really hard. I was so disappointed. I know there are women out there who would be happy to have one baby so it's hard for me to admit but I was downright angry about the gender at times.  During the time between #3 & #4, I poured out my heart to God. I prayed continually about His plan for our family. I gave up control and surrendered my heart and mind to His plan for our children, the number of them, their gender and my husband and I determined that we were done having kids. However, we were both slightly unsettled with that and continued to discuss the possibility of #4. When we found out we were expecting, my husband and I had multiple discussions about how I was going to handle finding out the gender. I continued to plea with God for my desires but continued to acknowledge His plan may be greater than my own. I still hoped for a girl but in the back of my mind he was a boy until proven otherwise. When we had proven evidence that #4 was a boy, I really just embraced it. I knew this was our last baby and I wanted to enjoy it as much as possible.

The ongoing struggle
My dream, my ideal would have been 2 boys and 2 girls. God's plan for me and my husband was a house full of boys. They are all special, unique, individuals who are deeply loved by both of their parents. We will never know the dynamic of having a girl. I have 4 versions of various traits of my husband and I in boy form but will never know what our combination would have looked like in girl form. I am happy with my boys and have come to terms with the fact that the answer to my prayer is no. The miscarriage plays a role sometimes because i find myself wondering if that baby in heaven is a girl and why couldn't she stay?  More days then not I focus on the blessing of having 4 healthy, beautiful, fun boys.

People's reactions
As we walk through stores and restaurants, I notice the look on people's faces. Most of them are sympathetic and smile politely as we pass. Some people exclaim, '4 boys!' I have heard countless time, 'you have your hands full'.  There is one comment though that hurts more than others, that brings all those feelings right back to the front. That one comment is,'you are young, try again' or it closely related cousin 'It's not too late to try 1 more time'.  I always laugh it off and share that 4 boys is Gods plan for us and it is ok. In my head, though, i begin arguing with God about his design, questioning why I wasnt worthy enough to have a daughter for my husband and a sister for my boys. We are a single gender family and I remain the sole princess and it is ok!!

Blessed
Every once in a while, a couple who are past their child rearing years, will stop at our table look at them all endearingly and share how blessed we are. They take a moment to praise us for their behavior, even when we feel like they are acting up. They share moments and experiences from raising their own children. Those encounters make me feel blessed, happy, and fulfilled as a mom. Thank you for those moments!!


To my fellow moms of all boys: you are richly blessed
To my mom of all girls friends: you are richly blessed
To my mom friends who have a combo of boys and girls: you are richly blessed

God made us to be the perfect parent for our children and the perfect design for each of our families. As for me, I embrace it. I pray for their future wives, and my relationship with my daughter-in-laws to be.  It's a big job to raise boys to become men that a dad someday will give their daughter to!

A matter of perception...

It's a matter of perception..... and sometimes we need a new angle....

I know lots of girls that I would consider healthy, thin and beautiful. I know that they look at themselves and think they are fat or heavy or notice all their imperfections. The stress our society puts on size and shape is ridiculous. Most of us will never obtain the images we see in magazines or tv, so really we should stop trying to achieve that. Women need to build each other up more and tear down less. We need to help each other recognize our own beauty inside and out.

Learn to love yourself.
That's what i am working on. I continue to see changes in my body. For the first time in forever my clothes don't fit cause they are too big not too small. My face is thining and i am begining to feel pretty again.I pulled out one of my senior pictures this week. This is the image I am striving for on this journey to health and wellness. I look back at this picture and think, why couldn't I see then what I can clearly see now???  Teens hear me... No one in high school is perfect. Everyone has flaws and insecurities, learn to love yourself, be confident in who you are becoming. I wish I could have done that then, but I am working on it now. My hope is to raise my boys to look at girls from the inside out. To be friends with girls before dating them. To look for their character traits and not just the outward appearance.

Heavy girl body with a skinny girl mindset...

As I keep seeing all these great changes from being consistent with My Pink Drink, some improvements in food choices and increasing activity I can genuinely say I feel better.  My clothes fit better and people around me are noticing changes. That feels good!!  Now I find myself walking with my head a little higher and my shoulder a little straighter. I am gaining self confidence because I have changed my view, my perception. I am down nearly 2 sizes in clothes and I am walking around struting my 'skinny' self. Skinny not by society standards but by my own. Even my husband is using the skinny word to describe me, and it feels good. So don't argue with me!! I am getting skinny and i know it!! :)

I am Beautiful. I am loved. I am strong. I am smart.

I am feeling thiner, healthier and happier.I am in charge of my happiness, no one else.

Winning the battle....

Wow! A lot has changed in only a month! A month ago today i started a journey, a quest, a personal mission to be my best me. I made a choice to seek health through knowledge, research and available tools. So what's different????

My choices....
I have control now over what I put in my body. I am no longer driven by cravings for sugar and soda thanks to my Pink Drink. I am able to bake cookies for my sweet nephew and not eat them all. I can cut a piece of cake in half and still feel like I participate in celebrations. I can walk by cupcakes all daylong and not stop and take one.  I haven't been to a vending machine in 4 weeks! If you know me, really know me, you know how remarkable these statements are!

My Portions...
Not only can I say no to sweets, I can push a plate of food away when I am full. No more mindless eating just because it's there. I eat enough. I was recently at a cookout. The kind where the food is awesome cause everyone brings their best or favorite dish and it's available all day. I got one plate of food. I had a small dessert. Enough and only enough! For those of you who don't struggle with food it maybe hard to understand but it actually feels good NOT to clean my plate!!!

My tastes....
Since high school I have been a lover of the Golden Arches. I mean breakfast, lunch and dinner, I could go there multiple times in a day for multiple days in a row and NEVER tire of it. My most recent attempt to partake of the Golden Arches left me feeling unfulfilled! They still have the best coke in town but I no longer crave the food. Also, I am becoming more concious of the ingredients on food labels. I am trying to choose things without high fructose corn syrup, cause I think it makes my kids crazy.  I am trying to pick things as close to natural as possible. There are of course some exceptions because let's face it, there are a few things out there that are good even if they aren't the best for you!!! Also, I am trying to make my own, homemade versions of things like bread and granola. It's rewarding for me to know what all was used to make the food I am feeding my family.

I Give myself grace....
In the past, if I ate poorly while trying to diet or quit excersing for a day or two, I would call myself a failure and give up. I would let all the negative things ever said to me take over my head and wallow in self pity about how I am always going to be fat!  Well, no more my friends! I started strong with the excersing. Then I didn't feel well, then life stuff got in the way but I am still moving more than i was before and maybe not quite where i want to be but that's why this is journey. I praise myself for small accomplishments. I focus on the good and positive. I acknowledge my mistake and move on.

I can do this! I will do this! I will find myself and live my best life. I will be and give my best to my husband, my kids, my God, my friends and family and my work. Your support encourages me, thank you! Those who are seeing me in person and can see the changes, thank you for the praises! That gives me motivation to push on. I can't believe how far I have come in 1 month, I can't wait to see what the 6 month mark and 1 year mark look like. For now, it is one day a time continuing to win battle after battle...then maybe, just maybe I can win the war!

You want to do what?!?.....

...That was the response I expected when I went to the running store for shoes.
     Let me back up though. My oldest had been talking about running for a few weeks, remember how I said he doesn't forget? So I started researching online. Running shoes are complicated. The other problem, they are super bright flashy colors. In my mind I was thinking... as if seeing me try to run wasn't enough to draw attention, let's add neon colored shoes.  After looking at diagrams and reading articles and blogs about running and shoes, I had a pair in mind that i thought would work for me and searched all over town. Everywhere I went didn't carry that shoe and the people kept reffering me to a local running store. I was trying to avoid that....at all cost.

   So I finally decide to bite the bullet and go. I had one night that my husband would be home for awhile after work for me to go. Now, I should have considered that I would go straight from work when I chose my outfit for work. That day I chose to wear a long flowy skirt. So here I am in my skirt and my over weight, out of shape body walking into the running store. A super peppy greeter meets me at the door and inquired about how they could help me. I explain, sheepishly, that I want to start a couch to 5k program with my son. She smiled and reassured me that my plans and goals weren't silly or unobtainable.  This was defintely not the reaction I was expecting! So she explained the process and sat me on a bench to wait for my fitter.

My fitter was super supportive. She measured my feet. I stood on a scale looking thing that measured how I apply pressure on my feet. She watched me walk back and forth with my skirt hiked up so she could see my legs, feet and ankles.  Then she brought out several different styles and brands, none of which were super flashy!  I tried them out, walked around and narrowed it down to the ones I was leaning towards. I put them on and we went outside to run on the sidewalk outside the store.  I picked the shoe I was happiest with so she brought me back to the bench and I switched fitters to finish up. They have additional insoles that offer different support for your foot for running. The new fitter put one of those insoles in my left shoe and left the other at it's base. So back out we went. She told me how far to go and come back. I started running, still having my skirt hiked up, concentrating really hard on my feet, the feel, thinking about positives and negatives. I noticed I was getting to the point where I was supposed to turn around. As I started to turn, I planted my right foot wrong and my foot rolled underneath me causing me to fall. Lovely! Large girl running in shoes she hasn't bought yet, wearing a skirt is now face down on the ground with a throbbing foot. Now, the thing about me is when these kind of things happen...I tend to faint, it goes along with my narcolepsy. So I am sitting there trying to distract myself about the pain because if I passed out I was certain they would call an ambulance!!!  Needless to say, I felt like this was an omen. Maybe I shouldn't even do this!!!  They took great care of me until I felt ok enough to finish up my shopping experience. I decided to buy the shoes because if I allowed myself to use the fall as an excuse, I knew i would never take any other steps forward for my health and wellness.

The next morning my oldest and I got up and started the app. Couch to 5k name gives you the impression you can go from sitting on the couch to running a 5k, which overtime I am sure you can. However, I decided after trying it several days there needs to be a pre couch to 5k app. I am nowhere near able to tolerate even the short 90 sec bursts of running that the app calls for the first day. So for now I briskly walk a track near my home and hope in the next week to run the curves and walk the straights. Then maybe I can give the app another chance!!!

I highly recommend our local running store if you are thinking about running, trying to run or even walking with the intent to run (like me!). They are genuinely nice and supportive of all those who are interested in running! Definitely made me feel welcome! Kudos Running Central!

Overweight and Under-rested

When I was in highschool I had marching band practice every morning before school and every afternoon after school. Several days a week after band practice I went to work. Saturdays were consumed with competitions and Sunday was filled with church, family time and youth group. When band was done, i participated in pep band for basketball and was a cheerleader of sorts for wrestling. By the time those were over it was marching band season again. In between practices and work, I kept up with school work. I was tired and frequently napped. I could nap on the bus headed to or from competitions or meets. I could nap on Sunday afternoon while reading a book. Pretty much, I could nap anytime, anywhere, in almost any position. Classroom time was particularly difficult if it wasn't an interactive class.  I started getting in the habit of bringing snacks and soda to my classes. I found that if I ate I could stay awake.

My college life was similar. I would take snacks and soda to keep me awake. Often times I would nap when i got done with classes for the day. I would complain about it from time to time but everyone seemed to think it was normal due to taking classes and working full time.  I talked with my doctor about it once but he told me I was fat and if I lost some weight I would feel better. Then we started having kids, so naturally I am going to be tired. Work full time, nursing school, and a kiddo, no wonder i was tired, right?

Well, after my husband starting having some health issues arise, I became really disatisfiedwith our primary care doctor. I found a wonderful doctor who listened to me and offered things we could look into that could be contributing to how tired i felt. We looked into thyroid issues, that work up was normal. So he suggested I go to a sleep medicine doctor. So I went. I had a sleep study done and it said that I have obstructive sleep apnea. My neck was so thick that when I sleep I stop breathing for periods of time, disrupting my sleep. So I got a cpap machine and wore it religiously. For the first few weeks i felt great, but slowly i returned to my pre cpap levels of daytime sleepiness. It had gotten to the point that I could fall asleep at my desk typing my notes and I was concerned about my job. So the sleep doctor suggested a nap test. So i went back during the day and they had me take a series of naps. They were monitoring how quickly i fell asleep and what stages of sleep I was in. This is the test that indicated I have narcolepsy.

It is amazing to me how much compensating i did with food and soda to make it through. In hind sight, i probably should have discussed things with my parents and doctor as a teenager but i didn't.

Now that i have the aid of medication to help me stay awake and my new favorite pink drink, I have more energy, sleep better and don't need nearly as much caffiene to survive the day.

Getting more rest and having more energy is helping me with pushing forward with healthy changes. Getting up early to go walk (with the intent to run) isn't as difficult as in years past. Still not consistent but trying and slowly making process. That's why this is a journey, right?

The "D" word

...you know the word... DIET. Blah!  The word just screams things like restrictions, limits, and other negative under tones.  Food is good. I like the taste of food. It seems contradictory, I want to lose weight but I don't want to give up food! My thinner, healthier friends always say "all things in moderation." Yes, well my moderation center is nonfunctional. I mean if it tastes good, I generally want more and so i have hard time saying no to seconds or desserts. Anyone with me?

My other problem is my need for instant gratification. If I work out all week and eat salads and deprive myself of sweets then i better see some changes in my body or weight. Then when I don't see changes, I give up. I mean why torture myself for nothing? My will to lose weight and be healthy is overtaken by my cravings for sweets, salty snacks and soda.

I tried weight watchers once. I had good sucess at first but then those cravings kicked in and i figured out how to "work the system" so that i stayed within my points but could still eat sweets and other junk food.  Sort of defeats the purpose right? I tried counting carbs and calories. I researched and tried fad diets like Atkins or south beach. Again, with little success and strict rules and guidelines I gave up. I just want to be able to eat, enjoy my food and be happy all while dropping some weight and having more energy. Am I really asking too much?!?!

I am also a huge skeptic of weight loss products. If it has taken years of poor food choices, and  not much excercise to get to this point, then it makes sense to me that it will take time to get the weight off. Many of my friends have used all sorts of different products and tried to get me to try too. They are generally expensive and require giving up one or more meal a day or taking lots of pills with the promise of weight loss. Then along came plexus.

Plexus has changed this weight loss game for me. A girl I work with started using it and was feeling better all around. She had more energy and slept better. I listened to her explanations and smiled politely. I went to her site and looked at the prices. Another product that is an investment financially. I have 4 kids to feed on tight grocery budget, how could I even entertain the idea of this product? This coworker was flooding my facebook with success stories and pictures. I kept thinking, If the pictures are real, they are impressive results. She talked me into a 3 day trial. I went into it expecting nothing. I mean i am really skeptical of these things. I researched the ingredients on my own and found they are indeed all natural. Since I expected nothing, I didn't take measurements before starting the drink.  A drink, thats all it is. You mix it in water and drink prior to eating. Then you go on about your day, eating a normal balanced diet.  At the end of the first day she called to check in. I didn't think I felt any different but then I realized that it was after 4 and I had only had 1 soda and didn't open the girl scout cookies I had brought for my afternoon sugar craving. Huh! By the end of the second day I noticed I had to remind myself to eat, I was craving water, I was in a better mood, I had more patience with my kids and I truly had no desire for sweets. What? No sweets? I was hooked! I took my measurements that night.  At the end of the three days, I discussed my feelings about this product with my husband. He supported my desire and challenged me to track my progress.

After a week, I  remeasured myself. I had lost 3.5 inches in my waist, 1/2 inch from both thighs, 1/2 inch from my neck and 1.5 inches from my bust. But the hightlight of it all? My in laws had bought me a beautiful diamond necklace for Christmas. On Christmas day I couldn't get it on, but now i can. My measurement day is wednesday....today. This is week 2 so stay tuned for the progress.

If you want to learn more about plexus, check out my page "My Pink Drink".

Innocent question becomes a challenge

My oldest, who is just a few months shy of the big 1-0, asked me a question that has become my personal challenge.

 He has had a rough time with school since pre-k. We were blessed to get him moved to a more supportive learning environment this year and have seen amazing things. In the fall he participated in mileage club. At recess the kids run a defined course around the playground and earn miles. He loved to brag about his accomplishments! During the winter it wasn't continued due to indoor recess. Now with a new principal it was decided to not resume mileage club. He was really upset as it was a good outlet for him and gave him a sense of belonging and goals to work toward.

Mid winter he asked me if he could run at home. We don't live somewhere that I feel comfortable giving him boundaries and letting him go out on his own. I expressed my concerns about this to him. His response: "Can you run with me?"

Yikes!!!! Me???? RUN?!?!?!?? I told him we could talk more about it once the weather warmed up. This child doesn't forget anything so I knew I had better develop a plan. I love that he looks at me with pure love, says I am beautiful and has no doubt that I can run with him. I had already contemplated changes in my life and routine. I desire to be healthy. I have set a personal goal to complete a sprint triathlon before 35 comes.
So I did some research, got professionally fit for shoes (a funny story i will share later) and downloaded a couch to 5 k program. Last week I let him know we would start slow and go 3 days a week in the morning together.  After a week, i do more walking than running but i try, I am sore but energized and love the connection I have with my oldest son!

Thanks for the confidence and challenge buddy!

Reflections

When I think about losing weight, I become overwhelmed.  Then my mind wanders and I ask myself the question.. How did I get here??? I mean I have always been a "bigger" girl but how did it get out of control?? I think it is worthwhile to review those moments that helped create the voice in our heads, positive and negative, that have shaped who we are and how we think of ourselves.
For me the begining of those moments was in fourth grade. I got my hair cut short and conviced my mom not to make me wear a dress on the first day of school. I was starting at a new school that year, I didn't really know anyone yet. There was a boy in my class named Brandon...and my name is Brandie... and since my hair was short (boy cut short) she was constantly calling me Brandon. Silly, I know but it seemed to me I must not be pretty if she couldn't tell I was a girl and not a boy. Now as a grown up, who mixes her kids names up all the time, I realize it was just a mix up..but it still made its mark.  Later that same year a few girls got together and decided to pull a prank on me for Valentine's Day.  For a week they left little gifts and notes with clues to who my secret admirer was. I was convinced it was a boy I was crushing on only to discover at the end of the week it was a group of girls who had deliberately chosen clues about themselves to make it look like it was my crush.  I was devestated and again a mark of low self worth was left.
Junior high was full of moments that left me feeling ugly and lacking in confidence but i had a core group of friends who supported me. I took on sort of the goodie goodie wallflower persona.  I got involved in band and choir. Junior high was also the first time that food wasn't chosen for you for lunch.  I learned pretty quickly what ala cart items i could get and still have some money left to get candy at the concession stand after school. Let the poor food choices begin!!  In addition to poor food choices, I wasn't exactly an active kid. I rode my bike some, i played softball until i aged out of the church league and failed to make the jr high team but for the most part I studied and read books. By the time i got to highschool I was a size 14. During high school, I was in marching band, which kept me active enough to not let my food choices catch up with me. My high school had block schedule which meant I was in class for an hour and a half.  I began having trouble staying awake ( I wouldn't discover until after I was 30 that this was because I have Narcolepsy). So of course I had snacks and soda in class to keep me going. I was good at a lot of things and got good grades but never felt like I was great at anything. I never really developed good self confidence. I had a few boyfriends and those also left marks of poor self worth and created my eating for comfort and to feel better problem!
In college, I decided to redefine myself. I went far enough away from home that no one would know me and I could reinvent myself. I continued, though, to not eat well..fast food, junk food and of course soda! During this time I met the man who would become my husband. He has always and will always love me no matter what. God truly blessed me with him and his love!!
Between freshmen 15, poor choices in food, eating for comfort due to lack of confidence and poor self worth, marriage, 4 babies, 2 degrees requiring long classes and late nights of studying (read junk food eating and soda drinking) and a lifetyle that doesn't include excersize....its pretty clear how I got here... so the next question is.... What am I going to do about it?

Baby steps

I have alway loved butterflies. I love to watch them. I have alway been facinated by the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly. When i got married i had butterflies on my dress, shoes and as my jewlery, it was symbolic to me of transforming from a young single woman to a wife. I have had other transformations along the, way like becoming a mother. Now I am beginning a journey towards health, lightness in life and spirit and finding joy in everyday life.
I have struggled with my weight and self image for as long as i can remember.  Internally, i have called myself all sorts of names before others had a chance. Outloud i make fun of my weight and laugh it off. I have tried lots of things, but  when it comes right down too it I had never decided i was ready to change. Now, finally at 33, i am ready... and starting with baby steps. Small changes, little additions of excercise, and a big change of heart!  Follow along the journey with me. Maybe some one will find inspiration as i have found through many others!